I was watching a trailer for the movie Bicentennial Man, in which Robin Williams plays a robot manservant. This is an underrated movie, by the way. It's one of those that's just fun and entertaining, which is all I ask for in a movie. In one particular scene, Williams' character Andrew is being aided to look more human by a robotic scientist. After the scientist removes the current shell that is Andrew's head, Andrew screams. When asked what's wrong by the scientist, Andrew exclaims, "I just saw the inner me."
True, it was meant for a laugh, but it makes a good topic for discussion. We all have an "inner me." Contained within that inner me are thoughts that we would never share with another human being. At least I hope that's the case, because I have many of those and it's terrifying to think that I'm alone in this. I'm not talking about those casual thoughts you have like "what a bitch" when someone cuts in front of you in line or is screaming at her kids. I know we all have those thoughts. I'm talking about the ones that, if shared, or worse acted upon, would help get you committed or incarcerated.
Unfortunately, I can't give you an example, because that would involve telling those deepest, darkest of secrets that I don't want anyone to know. What I want to know is, do you have those too? What I'm trying to ascertain is whether I have some inherent evil within me and I was just raised to develop an ethical conscience, or whether I am just normal. In other words, are there some of you out there that never have an evil thought and it is easy for you to be good, or do we all wrestle with the demons? The Bible would have you believe the latter, because it mentions in several places that we are all sinners.
And if we all have these sinful thoughts, is that what leads to criminal and/or perverse activity? Are those people incapable of filtering those thoughts because of either bad upbringing or faulty synapses? I realize this has been the study of criminologists for years, but it fascinates me. Thanks to the advent of technology, George Orwell's big brother concept is a very real possibility. England already has cameras that patrol public activity.
I can't tell you how many times I've stopped myself and said, wow, if someone saw or heard me now or could read my mind I'd be in big trouble. Yes, sometimes I act out insane things or say things to myself I would never say in public. Occasionally, I have been caught talking to myself in a public restroom or even a grocery store when you think you're alone in an aisle. I usually try to cover by pretending I was singing, but it leads to some of the worst lyrics ever. But that happens to all of us, doesn't it?
I'm not looking for an answer today, or even a way to fix it. It just makes you wonder though, which is the real you? Let's face it. You attempt to hide all your neuroses from your friends, your dates, your kids and even your spouse. Eventually, your family is going to discover most of these and love you anyway. I'm just thankful I have the filter or the synapses firing properly. I don't think I would fare well in prison.
I think everyone has the fantasy of killing or torturing someone who pissed them off but you have to be truly sick and evil to actually do something so horrible to another human being. I think we all act out sexual fantasies when we are with someone or alone, and who doesn't talk to themselves.
ReplyDeletemy theory; we are all born schizophrenic [FTR, non-shrinks think that means "multiple personality". it does not.] as children we, have imaginary friends, talk to no one, say what we think, are paranoid, think large people are trying to control our thoughts, disregard the consequences of risky behavior, absolve ourselves of any responsibility, and demonstrate delusions of grandeur.
ReplyDeletegrowing up then, is learning how to put the dampers on these traits. some of us are more successful that others.
While I see the point you are making alias Richard Craninium. I have to say it is the fearlessness and playfulness that I admire in children. Adults can be an uptight, judgemental, inhibited mess. Although some children can be cruel and a pain in the ass. I guess that's where the expression "grow up and stop acting like a child" comes into play....LOL
ReplyDeleteand therein lies the rub; put a damper on the poison thoughts, but preserve all that is valuable about childhood; wonderment over cynicism, courage over trepidation, playfulness over sullenness, industriousness over laziness, and most importantly, original thinking - instead of handing over the responsibility for your thinking to a lame institution; republican, democrat, baptist, or buckeye. Parroting the rhetoric [invented by a sect of greeks called sophists] of others is the one way ticket to alzheimerville.
ReplyDeleteBravo R.C.
ReplyDeletety. butt pat yourself on the back for directing moi to the [+} aspects of childhood, that need to be drug into adulthood. Too bad neither of can spell "cranium" :-)
ReplyDeleteHa! I didn't even notice that. I type so fast.
ReplyDelete