I'm a little late today but I got it in under the wire. Glad I don't have an editor. Right now my daughter is downstairs baking a cake. We just finished a wonderful, healthy casserole that she made for dinner. She amazes me every single day of my life. I have two older ones who are amazing, too, but she is my baby. I have one more year left before she takes off for college so I want to devour every moment.
The sad thing is I don't see her that often now. That's normal. She's a teenager with a plethora of friends and she's always off hanging out somewhere. I wouldn't want it any other way. Frankly I'd be a little worried if she still wanted to go everywhere with daddy. It doesn't help when I miss her though. She's grown wise beyond her years in a few short months. She's cooking, cleaning her room, making her bed, watching what she eats, driving responsibly, reading constantly, sending in college applications, and managing her money. That's why I don't play the lottery. I already won.
There's no doubt that we grew closer after her mom died. We had to. How she handled that so well is still a mystery to me. It was because of her that I was able to keep it together. Now we have a new life--a second life. She put everything in perspective for me. Fate has been kicking sand in my face consistently for about seven or eight years now. I've had some awful things happen. Through all of it, she's the one thing that always makes me smile. I couldn't have built a better kid from a kit.
We talk about everything--yes, I said everything. There's no one else. Why wouldn't we? And still, every once in awhile, she doesn't mind having lunch or dinner with old dad, or even taking in a movie. I don't remember doing much of anything with my parents after I hit the teens. I left the house after school, returned for dinner (maybe) and went back out until dark. I never shared anything of importance with my parents. Sometimes I wish I could have.
If you have a child, if you are a child, if you know a child, if you plan on having a child, grab the gusto now. Sure, I know carpe diem and you only get one chance and live life now are all hackneyed phrases. So why don't we listen? Say something to your parent/child tonight that you have never said before. Break down the wall. If you're a parent, share your experiences and let them experience everything. I don't know much, but this I know with certainty. Sheltering doesn't work. Helicoptering doesn't work. Spying doesn't work Snooping doesn't work.
Trust works. Trust is rewarded. Trust is returned. When you trust your child, you're trusting in yourself. You're saying I've given you all the right tools to make the right decisions. That doesn't mean they always will. Did you make all the right decisions? None of us did. But we were less likely to keep making the same wrong decisions.
I'm going to hug my daughter tonight. I'm going to tell her I love her. She's going to look at me funny, because she won't know why and I don't do it often enough. I don't care. I don't want her on some therapist's couch years from now saying I'm here because my daddy never showed he cared for me. I'm taking a leap. Who knows? This might be the hug she remembers the next time she's in a jam and I'm not there to help her make the right decision. Parenting lasts forever.
I had two parents who adored me. I knew I was loved by "both" even though I did not have a good relationship with my father, my mother and I were always best friends. I ate dinner with them constantly all through my twenties and thirties. One thing I can't stand is being dependent on anyone though and some parents become overly attached to their children to the point of suffocation. It's good that your daughter is on her way to her own life. I never wanted to have children and I don't regret it for a second. I love my freedom. Different strokes for different folks.
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